Back to school means back to tests, papers, treading to class through the snow, ice and sludge (at least mailmen get paid and get to play with dogs) and your weird professor who still swears that the government has been watching him since the 60’s.
Still, it’s not all bad. It seems like there is a significant amount of doom and gloom infesting campus, and that just isn’t right.
So here are some things that you won’t miss about break, and some things you might be surprised you did miss.
1. No awkward small talk at family reunions, especially about that weird uncle who smells kind of like car fumes or your aunt who sings to her plants.
2. You have completed the first cycle of being sick of Burger King, and can now enjoy it again. Just watch those double cheeseburgers…
3. You no longer have to drive places with your mother (Slow down! Break! You almost hit that mailbox 12 feet away!).
4. Walking is great exercise. Sure, it’s not as good as Wii Fit or trying to beat out the neighbor kids for the last turkey wing, but it’s something.
5. No more random arguments at Walmart when you inevitably run into old classmates who are STILL mad about that time you didn’t pick them for your dodgeball team.
6. The hilarity of random political discussions breaking out over fries at Show-Me`s or history lessons while in line at Sub Connection.
7. You don’t have to see all the kids who were in like fifth grade when you graduated running around doing all the stuff you did in high school, only succeeding in making you feel ancient (even if you’re a freshmen).
8. At school, there is no one to remember that thing with the truck and the volleyballs and all those Cheetos. You get to make a fool of yourself in new and exciting ways.
9. At home, EVERYONE knows about that thing with the truck and the volleyballs and the Cheetos, and they will bring it up constantly. Especially when your boyfriend or girlfriend comes to visit.
10. School is just awesome. It’s a pain sometimes, but in the end, the good outweighs the bad. Think about that on your next long walk to class and how you smell relatively clean air and the pizza bread the guy walking in front of you has, and not car fumes or Cheetos. Think about it.