When thinking of abusive relationships, a lot of times the first thing we think about is physical abuse. We picture someone with bruises covering their arms and legs. However, abusive relationships that are mentally abusive can be just as damaging as a physically abusive relationship. One of the major red flags many of us tend to look over is the idea of jealousy.

When speaking of jealousy, there are many people who deem it “cute.” They say their significant other is just being protective of them. But when is the protectiveness going too far ? At what point are we just ignoring signs of something worse?

Presently, we have such a loose definition for the word jealousy. To say that someone is jealous because their significant other is sending provocative photos to another is just common sense. It is the jealousy when there is no proper reason, and that needs to be looked at closely.

Say you’re texting one of your friends that just so happens to be of the opposite gender. Your significant other looks over your shoulder and sees what you are doing. It’s nothing flirty, just a regular conversation about classes.

Then your significant other goes off on you. They talk about how they know that person wants to be with you, even though you know they have never met. They demand that you block your friend and never talk to them again.

In another case, your significant other may get defensive and aggressive anytime you mention someone of the opposite gender. They may constantly check your posts and your friends list to see who they are “competing” with for your attention.

It is hard to see where the protectiveness or the cuteness is in actions like this. Most often they will apologize for being that way. They may even give you this story about how they have been cheated on before, which may or may not be true.

No matter what has happened to your significant other before, you should not be taking the fall for it. Just because someone was not loyal to them does not mean that you are going to be the same. For them to treat you in such a way means they are clearly not ready to be in a relationship.

The truth is these actions are a good sign of the controlling nature that this person has. There may be a point where you are not allowed to see your friends of any gender anymore. They are going to want to read through your text messages and have access to all your social media accounts because they feel insecure.

Do not take these acts of jealousy as a cute, protective trait of your significant other. Understand them as red flags for possible issues later. This does not mean break up with someone the second they do something that might be considered jealous. However, it does mean to monitor these situations and judge carefully when you are in a potentially abusive relationship.