Ask Alex: On passive-aggression and religious tensions

Alex, Columnist

Dear Alex, I’m rooming with a friend this year. We’ve always gotten along well, but recently she’s been passive-aggressive towards me and our suitemates. If she has a problem with something, she will just make snarky comments about it or talk to our mutual friends. I would be happy to work it out, if she would come to me directly with the problem, but she never does. What should I do?

– Angry in the apartments

Confrontation, especially when it can potentially alter your daily life, can be difficult. I think it’s best to disguise confrontation as anything but confrontation.

What I mean by this is that you could organize a full room powwow, in which you all come together to discuss how you, as a group, can overcome difficulties in differences and communicating concerns to one another.

Being able to establish communicative pathways and willingness to talk could encourage your roommate to bring up issues with you instead of others.

Dear Alex, my boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. I would like to move forward within our relationship. However, his religious beliefs conflict with what I want for us. We’ve talked about it, and he’s unwilling to compromise. I think he may be the one, but I’m currently dissatisfied with where we are in the relationship. Help?

– Ms. Frustrated

Miss, I take it that you don’t share his beliefs, and that alone could be a source of strife in the future of your relationship.

If you’re certain that he is the one, I’d hope you’d be willing to wait until he is ready too. I’d argue that a relationship is comprised of three things: communication, compromise and chemistry. You and your boyfriend need to work on reaching a potential compromise that works for both, not just one of you. I hope that doesn’t alter the chemistry you currently have.

If it happens that you don’t find a decent middle ground, you may want to move on, because your happiness is important. I wish the best for the both of you.

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