“We Are Your Friends” is, at best, a time-sink.

This film is supposedly about Cole Carter (Zak Effron) attempting to become a famous DJ while living in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles, California.

Carter and his friends do a ton of drugs, including a wonderful animated sequence during a PCP trip which I suggest watching on Youtube, and imagine having sex with one of the girls from the “Blurred Lines” video.

Zak Effron is a capable actor, the three or four scenes which directly discuss the production of electronic dance music are interesting and the music is okay.

I have no reason to actually care about anyone in this film.

Save for one, none of the characters in “We Are Your Friends” suffer any significant negative effects from the events of the film. Nobody develops beyond having had more sex than normal or becoming sad for a few scenes.

The music aspect is underdeveloped to an embarrassing degree. I am not a producer, but I have enough friends who create EDM as a hobby and have dabbled enough myself to know the basics, and Carter isn’t pushing any envelopes.

Unlike most musician movies where the protagonist has a revolutionary idea or talent that could change the industry if given a chance, Effron’s character is simply a person who knows how to control crowds.

The sex appeal is middling at best. Unless Effron’s bulging biceps, a PG-13 sex scene or some random topless women at a party in the third act get your engine revving.  

It’s depressing, in a way. Over a hundred people put years of their lives into “We Are Your Friends” and achieved, at most, a way to stare at attractive people snorting and sexing everything they can find in the San Fernando Valley.

Any given 15-minute episode of “Adventure Time” or “Steven Universe” contains more character development and plot structure than the entirety of “We Are Your Friends.” I could’ve watched seven episodes of either show in the time it took me to watch this movie and gotten more out of it.

Oh, and my biggest issue with this film: The main character is not a DJ.

DJs remix music to create new sounds using samples as a base. Carter uses synths and pre-recorded sounds to create entirely new tracks. He is seen acting as DJ at a couple of parties early on in the film, but once he starts honing his craft he begins making entirely new pieces on his own.

Just because a producer mixes a track live on stage does not mean they are inherently a DJ.

Save your money and go buy a season of “Adventure Time” or “Rick and Morty” on DVD. You’ll have a much trippier and much more entertaining time.