Merry Christmas, Halloween's dead

Jake Tapley

I don’t really know why our culture invests so much time in vampires, zombies or werewolves, but I would appreciate it if the “facts” weren’t twisted or changed altogether.

I use quotes because I understand that movie monsters are entirely fictional. However, our culture’s perceptions of them were pretty standard until recent pop culture trends changed our perceptions.

Monsters are supposed to scare us all the time, but especially during the Halloween season. But with the influx of young adult literature that sought to make monsters more appealing, that scariness is slowly dying out.

“Breaking Dawn, Part 2” of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight saga was released into theaters Nov. 16, causing millions of girls around the world to, once again, drool over Edward Cullen. Due to these books and movies, vampires have taken on this “mysteriously dreamy” persona.

How did Meyer make the segue from Dracula to Edward?

More importantly, when did vampires become regular people capable of romantic relationships with human beings?

And, as for Jacob Black, when were werewolves able to shapeshift without the presence of a full moon?

In a world where vampires and werewolves are now considered sexy, what’s there to be afraid of?

Whatever happened to scary stories? Vampires are supposed to suck blood and be terrifying, and sunlight is supposed to kill them, not make them sparkle.

Don’t even get me started about the vampiricial importance of garlic or wooden stakes, which apparently weren’t important enough for Meyer to address in her books at all.

The presence of distorted movie monsters doesn’t end with vampires and werewolves, though.

“Warm Bodies,” a movie scheduled for release in 2013, is labeled as a “zombie romance” movie. The movie follows the main character, a zombie, through his everyday life as he narrates. This implies that zombies are capable of conscious thought – the first issue I have.

To top it off, he sees the girlfriend of one of his victims and instantly falls in love. Yeah, that’s right, love – just what zombies need!

The scariness of these monsters is what makes celebrations like Halloween great. At the rate things are going, the spirit of Halloween might die out. I mean, there will still be candy and half-naked girls, but what’s Halloween without movie monsters?