Vaping is lame

As I walk out of work on a cloudy 30-degree afternoon I walk past a pair of smokers leaning against a wall in my path. I think to myself “God, a cigarette sounds nice.”

I have never been a habitual smoker. A pack will last me several months as I continually forget I even have one. The cold weather combined with the comfort of having something to do with my hands pushes me to ask one of these people to bum a square.

I look forward to the genuine old-school interaction with a stranger. Reminding me of when people talked to past the time instead of whittling it away on their phones.

Then it hits me, that cloud of smoke, cold stinging air replaced with the warm second-hand stench filling my nostrils with…fruity pebbles.

I walk past the vapers in disappointment.

Vaping might be a healthier alternative to cigarettes. If you are addicted to tobacco use and have purchased a cheap vape pen as a way to break your addiction, then I can sympathize with you. I will never think of you as cool for vaping though.

I will never be impressed with your $200 pistol grip handle or the modification you made to the battery to increase the output of smoke by some obscene amount.

Vaping is missing the most important thing about smoking. Nihilism.

Everything that was cool about smoking is lost in vaping. There is something cathartic about dropping everything in the world just to go outside for five minutes.

Since some vapers do not feel the need to go outside to vape they miss the entire aspect of taking a break from world to smoke. The just puff along blowing clouds of smoke behind them as they go on about life.

Vaping is also missing the grittiness of smoking a cigarette. Smoking cigarettes is bad for you. Period. You can taste the burn of the leaves in your mouth while you inhale. You aren’t kidding yourself. It is like comparing bourbon on ice with a wine cooler.

This candy appeal to vaping is attracting younger and younger smokers into vaping. According to the CDC high schoolers are three times as likely to vape than to smoke.

We aren’t even sure of the long-term effects. Most of the health risks of vaping are associated with each different juice brand available.

This younger crowd that is into vaping leads me to associate vapers with the same crowds who watch Twitch streams of Ninja whining about a recent death on Fortnite or people who dab incessantly at the end of their one-liners.

Just don’t get me started on vaping tricks.

Smoking isn’t even cool anymore. Addiction dragging you away from whatever you may be doing, the crabbiness that comes from missing that stimulation, the smell that hangs into your clothing or the stain that marks your teeth.

The difference is smokers aren’t kidding themselves that it is still cool. Vapers are.