Feminist.

Miles away, a 32-year-old man internally groans and mumbles about uppity woman not knowing her place, a 20-year-old woman rolls her eyes and announces she is proud she isn’t a feminist and a 17-year-old boy tells his female classmate to shut up already and stop shoving her feminism down everyone’s throat.

We don’t understand what feminism is. We have morphed a beautiful, wonderful and powerful tool into something ugly to tear other women down with.

Feminism is not using other women as stepping stones to reach your own pedestal of ultimate feminist.

It’s not looking down on the stay-at-home mother. It’s not spouting anger at women who choose to wear makeup and dresses. It’s not making personal choices equal to what a feminist should be.

Feminism is equal opportunities for men and women.

Opportunities meaning woman should have the right, privilege and encouragement to make their own life choices.

If that means being a mother and a wife, that should be applauded. Applauded just as much as the woman who chooses to become the CEO of a company and never marry.

Wearing makeup doesn’t mean you aren’t a feminist.

Being pro-life doesn’t mean you aren’t a feminist.

Having six kids and homeschooling them doesn’t mean you aren’t a feminist.

We became excited by the progress women were making, being offered executive positions, being treated with more respect and not having their lives limited to only being a wife.

The excitement was stifled by women who appeared to not want to jump aboard—their resolve to continue their role as mother and wife seemed to jeopardize the entire feminist movement.

If every woman was not on board, how could the goal be achieved?

I suppose that leads to the next question: what is the goal?

If the goal is to have every woman refuse to shave their armpits, refuse to marry and refuse to wear heels, it will never be reached.
It is not a goal we should be striving for—that isn’t allowing every woman to choose how they want to live their life. That is guilting woman into thinking if they don’t do those things, they aren’t properly fighting for women’s rights.

What a backwards way of looking at feminism.

Feminists receive such a bad rep for being hateful, judgmental and abrasive. Part of this is due to a world which doesn’t want to include women in a world run by men, but part of this is due to a critical misunderstanding women have of what it means to be a feminist.

I will stand in the streets and fight for your rights to choose how to live your life for however long it takes.

But don’t you dare look down on me because of how I choose to live mine.