Embracing my introversion
I have spent much of my life trying to convince myself the only way to be “normal” was to be social.
My closest friends growing up were extroverts. They were funny and outgoing, and everyone wanted to be around them.
I, the quiet one of the bunch, always felt like the weirdo.
I resented how awkward I was around others. I wanted to feel normal, and I thought the way to do that was to be more like them.
I tried going to parties in an attempt to be sociable.
“Dude, you going out? That sounds awesome, I’ll come along!”
I didn’t actually want to come along.
I would usually sit by myself, on my phone, drinking a soda while the people I came with did the partying.
“You’ve been here all night; don’t you want to join us?” A dark-haired girl approaches me, sipping from a solo cup. “What’re you up to?”
“Uh… Looking at memes.”
Clearly I’d made a mistake; this wasn’t the right environment for me.
These days I still keep to myself, but I am more comfortable in my own skin. I accept I’m a little different than my friends, and I’m no longer ashamed of that.
I realized just because I avoid large groups and don’t get out much, doesn’t mean there is something wrong with me.
I’m quiet and awkward, and I don’t talk much, unless I have to. It has taken a while to realize, but I know that is okay.
I can mingle with others, but only for so long. When I need to step back and have some alone time, I don’t ignore it anymore.
I don’t force myself to be someone I simply am not.
You don’t need to be the center of attention to be “normal,” especially if your version of “normal” involves being in your own little world.
No one can help being a little different, so just embrace who you are.