Stay together despite distance

If long distance relationships had a theme song, it would be Coldplay’s “The Scientist,” because “nobody said it was easy.”

Everyone told me how difficult long distance relationships are. Many of my friends advised avoiding getting involved with someone who lived far away.

But as usual, I didn’t listen.

I met him through Tinder (don’t scoff, it’s not all about hookups). We matched because we were visiting family in a similar location. Conversation with him was easy and wishful.

We talked about our futures and how they could so easily meld together.

But we quickly felt the burdens of distance on our relationship. Financially, it was difficult to save the money to drive the eight-hour round trip. It was also time consuming. We only got to see each other for a short weekend every month.

Keeping in touch during the week was its own major struggle.

We both were in school full time and worked multiple jobs. Although we texted sporadically throughout the day, we would often go several days without hearing one another’s voice.

Modern conveniences such as Skype and Facetime were helpful for keeping in touch, but by the time we would both be free to talk it was often too late at night.

Despite these issues, we persevered. Although we were lonely and missed one another often, we were happy and healthy in our relationship.

Our relationship recently ended on good terms.

We didn’t do all we could to make a long distance relationship work. Rarely getting to spend time with a person is not good for any relationship.

This meant a majority of our conversation was through text, phone calls and Skype. As much as I knew the basics about him, such as his love for Mexican food, I didn’t know who he was when he wasn’t trying.

For this reason, our relationship grew to be serious quickly and under false pretenses. Eight months later, I realized our connections were created by our desire to be together, not by natural affection.

If you are contemplating getting into a long distance relationship, my advice to you is this: do it.

It will be difficult, but you have to find the time to make it work. Do your part in the relationship by keeping up communication and staying involved in the other person’s life.

Make sure you get to know who the person truly is and don’t let things progress too quickly. Long distance relationships may be hard, but with the right person, they are worth it.