[Salt pun redacted]

One light frosting and everyone loses their ever-loving minds. For your health, and mine, take a moment to take all of your stress regarding winter weather and collect it into a little ball.

I’ll wait.

Alright, now take that ball and throw it into an environmentally-conscious refuse bin (anxiety composts quite well, I hear).

Walking by several classrooms with open doors, one would assume the only topic worth discussing in English, education or biology classes Tuesday afternoon (bonus points to whoever can figure out the path I walk for classes) is that of snow, safe winter driving and the probability of the university canceling class as the week progresses.

It’s worth noting this piece was written Tuesday before any of the fabled snowstorm arrived. For all I know, campus could be dry as a bone, or the setting for “The Day After Tomorrow 2: Freezing Eagles.”

Regardless, calm down people. I drive 30 miles to campus each morning and believe Evansville has some of the worst drivers of any city I’ve driven in.

The idea of fighting for traction in an antique rear wheel drive car while also dodging vans and trucks who believe the snow negates speed limits terrifies me.

Operating under the assumption you’re a licensed driver: you’re fine. If school is cancelled, get some studying done and enjoy your day off.

If campus remains open, do some homework.

Google “safe winter driving practices” and watch a few YouTube videos from professional drivers.

Talk to that one cranky relative from Michigan who wears a t-shirt in below-freezing weather.

If the above fails and there is no possible way of safely traveling to campus, don’t go. If you have a hard time explaining your weather situation to an instructor who lives incredibly close to campus, do your winter-weather homework.

Go outside with your smartphone or digital camera of choice, frame up a nice shot of your frozen driveway/access road and snap a shot. Insert that shot into an e-mail to whomever you are alerting of your absence.

From there, you’re on your own.

Stay frosty.