Never gonna leave this bed – Adam’s not coming

Jessie Hellmann

Shame on you, SpringFest committee. As a USI student, I have suffered – and I do mean suffered – through three years of bad SpringFest performances and disappointments. Yes, I understand the committee works very hard to make sure students have a good time, but there are financial restraints, which leaves us with acts like Jason Derulo and Mike Posner.

So, when you tell me USI will partner with the University of Evansville and the Ford Center to bring more attractive acts, I get really excited. Then, when you posted a picture of a studly Adam Levine on the SpringFest page with his face blacked out saying you’ll make an announcement about who’s coming soon, I nearly peed myself.

And then I learned who’s really coming to SpringFest. And it’s not Maroon 5. Or even close.

There are some things we don’t joke about in this world, and I can say that even hinting about the possibility of bringing the sexiest man alive to Evansville when it’s not happening is very cruel.

I didn’t think it could get any worse.

Until the SpringFest committee again posted a picture of two artists with their faces blacked out – Justin Timberlake and Beyonce. If there’s anyone I love more than Adam Levine, it’s JT and Beyonce.

Look, I’m not as mad as I may appear. We can all have a good laugh about this later. But let this be a lesson to the PR and marketing students on the SpringFest committee: I may be a journalism major, but I do know that good PR agents don’t get the public’s hopes up about something that’s not going to happen.

I understand you wanted people to attend your special announcement ceremony Wednesday, but this was the wrong way to get students hyped up. You set an unrealistically high standard with Maroon 5 just to let them down with Smash Mouth.