A disturbing Jack-ass

Justin Law

I bet a lot of you did the same thing I did this weekend.

I went to see Jackass 3-D.

Let me just start out by saying that this is not a review. I’ll leave a movie review of penis pingpong and drinking the butt sweat of a fat man to someone more capable.

movieposterThis is more of a rant.

I would be lying if I told you that I didn’t laugh throughout the course of the movie, but there were an equal number of times that I wanted to gouge my own eyes out with a fork. 

Where do they come up with the stuff they try? Do people write in and dare the Jackass crew to do these random stunts? How do they choose who does what? I get this image of them all standing together drawing straws or something.

There are some things that you just couldn’t get me to do, like super gluing myself to another man in the 69 position, or running down a hallway filled with tasers and cattle prods.

I know I’m not the only one that wonders how some of them have kids. With as many times, in this movie alone, that various crewmembers were punched, kicked or harpooned in the groin, it baffles me.

Not all was bad, though. There were some pranks that were pretty funny, like when they were ramping a wheelbarrow into a swimming pool or when two of them agreed to play Tetherball with a hollowed-out ball full of angry bees.

I suppose there are some people that will do just about anything for a laugh, or maybe it’s a cloying need for attention. Whether it makes sense to me or not, it works for the Jackass crew. They’ve made loads of money off of their willingness to attempt the nasty and the just plain stupid.