Why I chose to not wait

Bobby Shipman

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Growing up, I went to a small Catholic elementary school on the Southeast side of Evansville.

Just to give you an idea as to how small it was, my eighth-grade graduating class had 20 students total (only six of us were boys).

The subject of intercourse came up only once in the nine years I spent at Holy Spirit School. For one day in my fifth-grade year, my teacher spoke to the boys in the class solely on the male reproductive system. I still had no idea what a vagina actually did.

I remember in seventh grade I was convinced that I could become impregnated by having anal sex. One can understand how conflicting this thought would feel to a gay 13 year old.

At home, I received even less of an explanation as to how this mysterious process worked. I had to resort to a little online investigation of my own – that got me into a load of trouble. That’s a story for another day.

Switching from a tiny Catholic school to a large public high school became somewhat of a culture shock to me as I quickly found out all the dirty details of fornicating.

Having no intelligently-gathered knowledge on the subject of sex, and even less on gay sex, I had only one other alternative way of gathering knowledge – good old-fashioned experimentation.

In my defense, I was always taught that the “hands-on” approach was the most effective way to learn.

To be frank, I found sex to be fun and enjoyable (what a shocker, right?).

Although I knew what my church believed, me priests rarely (if ever) spoke on the topics of homosexuality or premarital sex. This led me to believe that these rules might not be as punishable as – I don’t know – murder.

Apparently the Bible says otherwise.

I always become befuddled at the thought that premarital sex was a sin, and a man marrying another man was a sin.

What am I supposed to do then? Setting a chastity goal for myself is difficult when there is no end run except death.

Religious arguments aside, I know waiting for marriage to have sex, or to be in a committed relationship, may have long-term benefits. But, I don’t see the harm in engaging in recreational sex as long as it’s safe and consensual.

My final statement is this: I have seen so many people wait until marriage for sex and then get cheated on, stay married to someone whom they hate or who abuses them, or find out they were gay all along – all in the name of religion.

Ain’t nobody got time for that, which is why I have sex.

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