While the apparent trend of this column is to select one particular thing that is a manifestation of “dumb ass-ery,” I would like to instead point out the many such things that surround us and take some of the faith you have in humanity away.
Besides, your faith is not necessary for humanity. We will continue to nonsensically burn ourselves repeatedly whether you believe it or not.
Regardless, I will stay away from matters of faith (or lack thereof) in this secular scrawling.
I wouldn’t wish to offend anyone. Or would I?
Enough of this meaningless ramble that even I don’t understand half the time, let’s talk about the cone. That rusting, multimillion-dollar erection of repute.
We might get around to actually using it in a few weeks, but while I am holding my breath, I‘m probably saving my lungs from the questionable adhesive used to attempt to stick the rolls of wallpaper USI bought from Berry Plastics inside the new building.
Not that it matters; I will never get any fresh air anyway, because our new office doesn’t have windows.
Apparently newsrooms don’t need windows. God forbid journalists be able to see what is happening outside.
Maybe I can go visit the SGA Attorney General’s office every once and a while. It’s not like he’ll be using the nice view too often.
Speaking of outside, that old, familiar, depressing numbness known as winter is back once again.
No one does a winter quite like Evansville. They forecast them big and prepare for the apocalypse of rain, ice and snow.
That half inch dusting of snow we usually get could cause some havoc. That’s how the majority of Evansville does it anyway.
There have been days this winter when I wonder if one layer of salt was even put on the roads back in the on-campus apartments.
Some of the roads back there are treated like the book you bought for class a month ago but haven’t used at all yet.
It’s time to face reality though. You wasted your money on that book and some girl texting on her phone is going to hit your car in the parking lot regardless if there is ice there or not.
I leave you with one more piece of wisdom: suck it up, because we probably have another two months of this bitter cold, and it’s an unforgiving wasteland out there sometimes.
